Yesterday, I gave you my top 5 best (and worst) sports announcers.

Now we need to cover their sidekicks in the booth: the color analysts. These are the "insiders", the men or women who really know the ins and outs of the game/sport. Supposedly their job is to educate the average fan on the game or point out the nuances of a play that just happened that the viewer might not have noticed. Most are pretty good at doing this.

But talk about a hit-or-miss bunch of announcers. Color analysts can be great, deeply annoying, insightful, grating and, sometimes, a combo of all of the above. (And I'm sure I'm missing some descriptors there, too.)

Again, for our purposes let's stick to nationally televised color analysts that we all know and love (or hate) so that everyone knows whom the other is talking about. (Believe me, I've got a few things I could say about the Seattle Mariners' Rick Rizz, but then I'd have to take a valium afterward.)

THE BEST

Troy Aikman, FOX, football analyst
I can't believe it, either. A former football legend that's great in the booth, too. Really? Yup, he's sharp, gets to the point and "tells it like it is" without ever going over-the-top. Completely refreshing and enjoyable to listen to him describe/map out a play.

Johnny Miller, NBC, golf analyst
I love Miller. He holds nothing back. And on the buttoned-up, starchy, stick-in-the-mud PGA Tour that's welcome. I remember Phil 'Tits' Mickelson needlessly going for the green in two at Pebble Beach's famed 18th hole a couple of years ago. 'Tits' snaps it off left and into the rocks, losing the tournament. Miller: "What the heck was he thinking? That's just a totally needless, dumb shot." Bravo!

Norman Chad, ESPN, poker analyst
OK, this is a personal one. I play poker a lot and watch "The World Series of Poker" much to my wife's chagrin. Chad is not only a great analyst of hands being played, he brings a biting, self-effacing sense of humor to the audience. He also skewers players in a way that's funny without being hurtful. Unless he's talking about Phil Hellmuth.

Chris Collinsworth, NBC, football analyst
A lot of people don't like him. But I do. He's like Johnny Miller in the booth. He holds nothing back. Example: "There's another dumb false start penalty by the Raiders...undisciplined." Love it!

David Feherty, CBS, golf analyst
An Irish announcer? In golf? Why didn't this happen decades ago? This guy is off-the-charts charismatic. His wry Irish humor and off-the-wall descriptions of shots, lies and players makes him the James Joyce (only funnier) of golf analysts.

THE WORST

Stephen A. Smith, ESPN, basketball analyst
The Al Sharpton of analysts. He never misses an opportunity to conjure up a race issue. In the NBA of all places. A complete asshat.

Dan Dierdorf, CBS, football analyst
The man can't shut up. Period. He never stops talking. Ever. When he was on Monday Night Football a number of years ago, the camera accidentally caught a sign in the background of the play (and keep showing it over and over during the replay) that read "Get a job, Dierdorf." My buddy and I howled wildly at that. If only CBS would listen now.

John Madden, NBC, football analyst
Big John, I know you're icon and all, and I love your video game, but dude, hang up the teleprompter pen and the "Boom!" Just tired and worn out.

Tim McCarver, FOX, baseball analyst
He's the Dierdorf of baseball. 'Nuff said.

Tony Kornheiser, ESPN, football analyst
When Joe Theismann was let go from ESPN football broadcasts, I thought, whew, thank God they got him off the air. I didn't know it was possible, but they replaced him with someone worse, and with only an outsider's knowledge and analysis that's superficial at best. Just awful.

THE KING OF ALL THE WORST COLOR ANALYSTS

Dick Vitale, ESPN, college basketball analyst
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