Henry Waxman and the House Oversight Committee want to have a word with Roger Clemens about his alleged used of steroids. They also want to talk to Andy Pettitte...and Brian McNamee, the guy who blabbed about Clemens and Pettitte to George Mitchell's investigators. And just for the hell of it, Congress has asked Chuck Knoblauch to show up too (they should launch a formal investigation into why he forgot how to throw to first - that would be a hell of a lot more interesting).

Clemens, of course, has denied ever using steroids. Vehemently denied it. On video. And in an interview with Mike Wallace. And there's a sky-writing plane over New York right now continuously spelling out, "Roger Clemens did not use steroids." Now Roger will have to sit in front of Waxman and the rest of the stern-faced Congresspeople and deny it all over again, under oath. I wonder if he'll wag his finger at them like that lying sack of poop Rafael Palmeiro. Or will he take the Mark McGwire route and simply refuse to answer (while fiddling pretentiously with his gay little glasses)? Or, will he follow Sammy Sosa's lead and mysteriously lose his ability to habla anglais?

I expect Roger to deny. That's his strategy. It's his word against Brian McNamee's. Brian says there was steroids in the needles, Roger says it was B-12 and lidocaine. Roger knows full-well that, in the absence of actual test results from all those years ago, there's no way to definitively establish what did or did not go into his body via the syringes McNamee stuck in his big pasty white butt. Of course, if Roger lies, that would be perjury and contempt of Congress - but Roger knows how unlikely it is that anyone will ever be able to produce anything but circumstantial evidence against him, making the risk a small one.

This hearing will likely not produce anything we don't already know. It will, however, provide a great chance for body language experts to practice their craft. How much hostility do you think they'll read between Roger Clemens and Brian McNamee when the two share a room for the first time since the Mitchell Report came out? Actually, I don't think you'll need to be an expert to read that - it will be written all over Roger's face, in the form of his patented contemptuous sneer. It should be mildly entertaining at least.