Chad Johnson aka Ocho Cinco aka The Guy Who Ruined the Bengals wants out of Cincinnati (where his idiocy is not sufficiently appreciated), and says he would next like to play for his hometown Miami Dolphins and their new boss Bill Parcells.
"Hey, that would be cool," Johnson said when asked what he thought of possibly playing for Miami. "Where's Parcells at? I need to win now. I've done a lot of things, I've broken a lot of records here, I got the yards, I've been to the Pro Bowl, and I'm kind of fed up with the same thing every year."
"I need to win now," Chad said. He does realize that the Dolphins are 1-14, right? I guess he just has that much faith in Bill Parcells to turn things around. And yes, it's true that Parcells has a good track-record of reinvigorating floundering franchises. He made the Giants champs after years of irrelevance, set the Patriots on the road to becoming a dynasty, rehabbed the Jets for a time and built a Dallas club that this year, under Wade Phillips, is poised to make a Super Bowl run.
Of course, Parcells didn't achieve all that success by being a dummy. He knows what the deal is with players like Johnson, the cancerous effect those guys can have on a locker room. And Parcells has declared unequivocally that he's not interested in dealing with that type of player at this late stage in his life.
"I don't want thugs and hoodlums on the team," Parcells said when asked what sort of players he would be after for next season. "I really don't. I don't want bad-character guys. I don't want problem children."
Guess that eliminates Ocho Cinco, the ultimate me-first football player. But that doesn't mean Ocho won't be able to find his way out of Cincy. I'm sure Marvin Lewis would be happy to accommodate him, and I'm sure there are teams out there who would like to have him. Like the Raiders, who will take anyone's garbage and pay handsomely for the privilege.
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Tags: bill parcells, chad johnson, cincinnati bengals, marvin lewis, miami dolphins
