We are all abuzz about the "spineless puddle of puke" Petrino bailing on his team in the middle of the season. The Atlanta Journal Constitution is obviously on the story and has even made a Christmas wish:

For the second time in 11-1/2 months, the Falcons need a coach. At this late date, they should try anything and everything. They could round up the usual suspects, Steve Mariucci chief among them. Or they could try to lure Jimmy Johnson away from Fox. Or they could pursue Rick Neuheisel, the wild card in Georgia Tech's search. Or they could do what makes the most sense: They could hire Bill Cowher. Question is, would Cowher, having worked for one of the best organizations in Pittsburgh, want anything to do with the franchise now seen as the absolute worst? That's where Blank would have to be brave. He'd have to spend big, sure, but he'd also have to be willing to let his coach become the focal point. -- Atlanta Journal-Constitution

Of course this will happen; right after monkeys fly out of my ......

I think the folks at the AJC are falling into extreme wishful thinking but for the sake of argument, what if Cower was offered the job?

First, he would have to be offered a boat-load of cash and more control than anyone in the league. Blank has the cash and if he ever wants to win, he'll offer the keys to the kingdom if Cower wants it.

The advantage for Cower is simple; the team can only get better. And their biggest glaring ailments are perfect for Dr. Cower's specialty.

The Falcons are dead last in the NFC in rushing defense (123.7 ypg) and dead last in sacks (19). They are 6th in the NFC in interceptions and 4th in giving up touchdown passes. On paper, this appears to a problem manifested most clearly in the middle. Cower could make this defense competitive in one good draft and a couple of moves in free-agency.

The Falcon offense is obviously in trouble as well but how does that play to Cower's strength? The Falcons are third worst in the league giving up sacks (42). They are also 4th worst in passing yardage on first down. The running game in Atlanta has done a very good job with turnovers with only Dallas and Philadelphia posting fewer fumbles. This indicates that the backs aren't fumbling the ball around, there is just nowhere to run with it. The evidence indicates that the biggest problem is again in the middle.

So, if Cower stops laughing long enough to actually diagnose this wounded bird, he might find that he would like to be its savior.