Thoughts and predictions about the upcoming month:

June 1 - Kurt Warner and Jeremiah Trotter are among the former All-Pro players cut from their respective football teams. Eddie George will be among the former overrated, 3.3 yards-per-carrying, over-the-hill running backs also released.

June 2 - The Arizona Cardinals sign Eddie George.

June 5 - Despite going off as a 1-5 favorite, Smarty Jones will not win the Preakness. Remember, a horse called Smarty Jones winning the Triple Crown is like a guy named Bubba winning a Nobel Prize.

June 6 - Viewers nationwide will grapple with the difficult decision of what to watch: the season-finale of The Sopranos or Game 1 of the NBA Finals. Some questions to think about it whilst making your decision:
- Joe Dumars: A Midwest version of Johnny Sack?
- Who’s crazier – Rasheed Wallace or Christopher after a heroin bender?
- Who will have more screen time – Darko or Meadow?
- More annoying character – Rick Fox or Janice?
- Most likely to get whacked – Tony B. or whoever Karl Malone is guarding?
- First to go to jail – Uncle Junior or Kobe?
The fun is endless.

June 7 - Tampa Bay and Calgary will meet in Game 7 of the NHL Finals. I like how everybody was lamenting the fact that two small-market teams were playing in the Finals. Like the Rangers and Kings playing for the Stanley Cup would all of a sudden have solved hockey’s woes.

June 10 - In Game 3 of the NBA Finals (tied 1-1), Kobe Bryant sticks out his tongue while driving to the hoop, puts a towel over his head during a short rest on the bench and yells at Stanislav Medvedenko after an errant inbounds pass. All of this, and he still looks more like a better version of Tracy McGrady rather than the second coming of MJ.

June 11 - A 12-year-old girl from Omaha wins the Scripps National Spelling Bee by spelling c-l-e-p-s-y-d-a (an instrument designed to measure time by the flow of quantity of water) correctly in the 13th round. Elsewhere in Washington DC, Kwame Brown misspells his own name while filling out a form at Jiffy Lube.

June 12 - The Colorado Rockies make their first visit to the Tropicana Dome to face the Tampa Bay Devil Rays. Also on today’s baseball schedule Montreal heads to Seattle, the Phillies continue their heated rivalry with the Twins, Arizona flies north to Toronto and the Mets travel to the heartland to play the Royals. Ahh, the joys of interleague play.

June 13 - Barry Bonds hits the warehouse at Camden Yards, but his feat is overshadowed by Yorvit Torrealba’s similar blast the previous day.

June 14 - The Los Angeles Lakers win their fourth NBA title in five years, besting the Detroit Pistons in the fifth game of their series. As the buzzer sounds Kobe Bryant jumps on the courtside press table, chases after the game ball, sprints into the locker room where he begins crying uncontrollably on the floor and runs around the court holding up four fingers all in a span of 45 seconds. Still, I am not reminded of Michael Jordan.

June 17 - The U.S. Open tees off at Shinnecock Hills. Little-known Jonathan Byrd surges to the lead with a four-under 66 while Tiger Woods limps into the clubhouse with a 72. The media asks, “Is Tiger Done?”

June 18 - Byrd levels off, but remains in the hunt as Ernie Els grabs the lead at the mid-way point of the tournament. But lurking behind them both is Tiger Woods who shoots a three-under 67 to position himself two-shots back headed into Saturday. The media asks, “Is Tiger Back?”

June 20 - Ernie Els wins his third US Open, Tiger finishes in the Top 5 while Mickelson ends up six-back at four-over par. The media asks, “Why Can’t Phil Win the Open?”

June 21 - Wimbledon begins with Andy Roddick and Andre Agassi on separate sides of the bracket. At newsrooms worldwide headline writers salivate at the thought of an All-American final to be played on July 4th.

June 24 - The NBA Draft is held at Madison Square Garden. The Magic take Emeka Okafor at #1 so Grant Hill will have somebody to chill with on the injured list, the Bullets take Josh Childress so Jared Jeffries will have somebody to be soft with and Chris Duhon gets taken by Atlanta in the second round because GM Billy Knight convinces the rest of the front-office that this is the Duke guard who will finally make it big in the NBA.

June 25 - Dick Vitale abruptly resigns from ESPN to take a job as the color analyst for Atlanta Hawks television broadcasts.

June 26 - Andy Roddick is bounced in the 3rd round at Wimbledon. Headline writers turn their attention to Revolutionary War analogies in hopes of an Agassi-Tim Henman final.

June 30 - Kurt Warner, Smarty Jones, Tony B., the Detroit Pistons, the Tampa Bay Lightning, the kid that finished 2nd in the spelling bee, Tiger Woods, Phil Mickelson and Andy Roddick meet at a Motel 6 off the Jersey Turnpike to console each other after a very difficult month. They all feel better when the spelling bee kid points out that at least everybody in the room had a better month than Derek Jeter.