ESPN has announced it’s earliest Power Rankings for the ‘04 NFL season. They are, of course, addle-brained in their selections. Here’s the real power ranking deal.

1. Broncos: Marginally degraded O (at worst), vastly improved D. As we’ve seen the past few years, a killer D is more important than a top notch O. Denver should AGAIN be ranked at or near the top in both.

2. Eagles: Marginally degraded D, seriously upgraded O.

3. Vikings: Nice draft. Now, can they overcome Randy Moss’ bouts of laziness? Really, that’s the biggest thing keeping them mired in mediocrity up to this point.

4. Seahawks: My one concern is their weakened defensive secondary.

5. Patriots: Team unity, the bedrock of recent Pats teams, seems to be eroding. If so, their collection of marginal talent could suddenly develop all kinds of previously unseen flaws.

6. Titans: The minor losses on D are probably unimportant. The problems are 1. McNair can only suffer so many thrashings before his body starts telling him to get screwed and 2. The RB situation is abysmal.

7. Chiefs: Vermiel is hoping, irrationally, that the reintroduction of Gunther Cunningham will give the D (and the team), the little push it seemed to need to reach the next level. Isn’t gonna happen.

8. Cowboys: Placing the Cowpatties anywhere higher than 32 pains me, but the Tuna fuggin rocks and this team is . . . on . . . the . . . ::gasp:: . . . way . . . up ::wheez::

9. Colts: They did less than nothing to help themselves in free agency, including the loss of DE Chad Bratske. Then had a mediocre draft. Their D will be even more inconsistent than it was last year. Manning and his millions won’t be able to do a damn thing to overcome that.

10. Packers: Their offseason has been underwhelming and did nothing to address the need for a better receiving corps. Favre spends more time each year playing injured. This year he misses some playing time (and with that in mind, maybe the Pack should be rated lower).

11. Redskins: Joe Gibbs, great offseason moves.

12. Buccaneers: Their fall last year was freakish. Since then, they’ve cleaned house, made some nice pick ups. They’re also well coached. I see a wildcard race in their future.

13. Dolphins: A new O line, lack of quality QBing, David Boston’s obsession with strength rather than football, a so-so draft and mediocre FA signings have Miami sliding back into true mediocrity again. It’ll be like old times, except they won’t wait until midseason to start making us yawn.

14. Falcons: Alex Gibbs. It isn’t only having a healthy Mike Vick that will make a difference, it’s his total commitment to being the best QB he can possibly be, rather than just a great athlete playing QB kinda well. Alex Gibbs. If I have a concern, it’s a WR corps that is only marginal and questionable RB talent. Alex Gibbs. Really, you can’t possibly overestimate the value of Gibbs to the success of the O line, the running game and Vick. With just a hint of luck, Atlanta could be the NFC success story of the ‘04 season.

15. Bills: Getting rid of Kevin Gilbride as OC was HUGE. Expect McGehee to be starting by week 4. Made some pretty nice offseason signings, with only one important loss (FB Sam Gash). These guys may well be the surprise AFC success story of the ‘04 season.

16. Ravens: A lackluster draft and an unproductive (through no fault of their own) FA period did nothing to upgrade the team in any way that will make a measurable positive difference in their success.

17. Bengals: Nice draft, good FA signings. They should be able to squeeze two more wins out of this team and be in the fight for a wildcard spot come season’s end. The loss of headcase Corey Dillion will be a huge lift.

18. Texans: Minor, even helpful losses. A few good FA signings and a good draft. Another AFC team that could surprise.

19. Lions: Their entire offseason has been a slow, steady uphill climb, with two great pick ups in the draft’s 1st round. This is the other NFC team that might have a bigger year than expected.

20. NJ Jets: Pennington is healthy, but they haven’t helped themselves much during free agency. RB Jordon is a selfish jerk who can only harm the team. LB Vilma was a nice addition through the draft, but how much impact can one good rookie LB have?

21. Cardinals: Dennis Green rocks, but he’s no Bill Parcells (like, who is?). He’s done a great job cleaning out some garbage (Blake) and adding some quality. But all this new talent still needs to be coached together and the players who are left from last year need to have their old losing attitude coached out of them. That’ll take more than this year. Potential for a “surprise” season is slim.

22. Jaguars: They made some good moves in free agency and the draft, but Jack del Rio hasn’t proved that he’s worth a damn as a head coach and his plan or system seems muddled at best.

23. Panthers: Losts of important losses, no major gains. The Panthers are a weakened team and will need more than the healthy dose of luck that helped push them over the top last year.

24. Bears: Except for John Tait, what major upgrades have the Bears made? Lovie Smith isn’t The Answer. No coach or player is, will be or can be, because the Bears’ organization has no commitment to winning.

25. Raiders: They sign two guys who’d make a great pairing in the 4 -3, then switch to a 3 -4. Norv Turner is a major failure as a head coach. No amount of aging talent will change that. It didn’t in Washington.

26. Rams: Marshall Faulk is washed up, Bulger became increasingly inconsistent as ‘03 wore on and the Rams’ D is less talented this year than it was last.

27. Browns: Made some nice upgrades as far as players go, but the quality of the coaching staff is questionable.

28. NJ Giants: Tom Coughlin is the only positive the G Men have in their favor this year. It just won’t be enough to counter the overall mediocre talent and a rookie starting QB. It also doesn’t help that some of the Giant’s “star” players are crying to the players’ union that Coughlin makes them work too hard. If the players, whether through laziness or reasonable concerns, don’t buy into Coughlin’s system – and they already don’t – , it isn’t going to be successful.

29. Saints: Their off season moves have been utterly unimpressive as is their coaching staff.

30. Steelers: The RB situation is a joke and Cowher’s system has been falling apart around him for years.

31. Chargers: I really like what house cleaning they’ve done, but what upgrades have they made? They’ve set their feet on the path to success, but they have a long, tough road to follow before they arrive.

32. 49ers: The only thing you need to know about Dennis Erickson is that he has no business acting as a head coach in the NFL. And what the Hell kind of offseason program are the 49ers running? They look like the Chicago Bulls’ Jerrys orgasmically dismantling every successful element of their team in a mad rush to suck.