The baseball season is approaching rapidly, and I haven’t even had time to show how bad I am at predicting baseball. With any luck, I should be able to continue my Dimaggio-like streak of never getting the World Series winner right in the spring. So without further ado, my baseball picks for 2004, all done with incredibly little research.

AL East

Winner: New York Yankees. Ugh! That hurts, but A-Rod is just sooo good.
Most Likely To Surprise: Toronto. In this division, the best a “surprise" can do is third.
Most Likely To Disappoint: Baltimore. Nice additions, now name two pitchers.
Most Likely Headline: “Kevin Brown out 4-6 weeks with back injury, says ‘I never knew it was so bleeping cold here!’”
Least Likely Headline: Pinella says “We’re Still In It.” (After June 1st).

AL Central

Winner: Chicago White Sox. Why not?
Most Likely To Surprise: Cleveland. Shapiro is a genius.
Most Likely To Disappoint: Minnesota, Kansas City. This whole division is quite mediocre.
Most Likely Headline: “Juan Gonzalez Looking for Respect, Goes on DL.”
Least Likely Headline: “Pudge: ‘Man, this is fun!’”

AL West

Winner: Oakland. Such good pitching.
Most Likely To Surprise: Anaheim. Not much of a surprise, though.
Most Likely To Disappoint: Seattle.
Most Likely Headline: “A’s Post Twelfth Shutout.”
Least Likely Headline: “Rangers Don’t Miss A-Rod One Bit.”

AL Wildcard: Boston
AL Champ: Boston

NL East

Winner: Philadelphia. Sometimes it just takes a year to put it together.
Most Likely To Surprise: Atlanta. They just won’t die.
Most Likely To Disappoint: Florida. One of many one-year wonders.
Most Likely Headline: “Vidro dealt to Yankees. Expos receive frequent flier miles and a set of encyclopedias.”
Least Likely Headline: “French Flock to Baseball in Quebec.” There’s just no surrender in those guys, eh?

NL Central

Winner: Houston. Last shot for many of their players.
Most Likely To Surprise: St. Louis. Will the pitchers get healthy in time?
Most Likely To Disappoint: Chicago.
Most Likely Headline: “Reds, Bucs, and Brewers Battle for Leagues Worst Record.”
Least Likely Headline: “Reds to Honor Marge Schott Today.”

NL West

Winner: Arizona. One last run for the Big Unit.
Most Likely To Surprise: San Diego
Most Likely To Disappoint: San Francisco. I say this every year.
Most Likely Headline: “Bonds Given Steroids, Witness Says.”
Least Likely Headline: “Dodgers Offensive Outburst Continues.”

NL Wildcard: San Diego
NL Champ: Houston

WS Champ: Houston (Clemens in Beantown again? It was too good to pass up).

Some other baseball notes:

Hey, look, it’s James Gandolfini’s rookie card! Also due out in the same “Fans of the Game” series from Donruss are: Freddy Adu (an international soccer star at the age of 14 with D.C. United of Major League Soccer), Janet Evans (U.S. Olympic swimmer and four-time gold medalist), Brandi Chastain (a key member of the 1996 U.S. Women's gold-medal-winning soccer team) and Summer Sanders (U.S. Olympic swimmer and four-time medal winner). Well, if that doesn’t energize the baseball fan in all of us I don’t know what will. Swimmers and soccer players? What about the U.S. Women’s Curling Team? Hey Donruss, the ideas are free here!

You knew I'd have to get a Dodger mention in somewhere. First, for the most complete and well done Dodger preview I have ever read go here. And to think I was going to try to do one on my own. My own thoughts on the Blue come down to a couple things. I don't like their owner, in fact, I think he's a con-artist. DePodesta will make a great GM, but often it doesn't matter if the owner proves to be interfering and incompetent. They are going to suck, and suck huge, this year. If they stay the course they will be in the playoffs from 2006-2011. Their prospects are just that good. But if they panic and deal for free-agents to be then they will continue to be the mediocre team they are today.

An example of how bad the bottom of the NL Central will be. The Pirates are counting on Jose Mesa, and the Reds have named Cory Lidle their opening day starter. Man, nothing like sitting back and watching the cash roll in from a brand new ballpark, eh boys?

Poor Roger Cedeno. Don't the fans realize that it's not his fault that Mets management screwed that team over for the next decade a couple years back? Sheesh. Another great article on my second-most-hated team gave me great reason to smile. Let's see. Everybody's hurt, their pitchers can't crack 85 on the gun, and it's a "country club atmosphere". 'Gonna be another great year for the Mets.

Ah, the sweet smell of spring. Batter up!