Part of the reason Freaks of the Week comes out on Tuesday is because I'm rather lazy. Since my deadline is self-imposed I can push writing this column back and only get an internal scolding (but what a scolding that can be). I haven't generated the loyal readership that freaks out (pun intended) without their Freaks fix. Freaks has not yet reached the cult-status of TMQ but I'm trying. Publishing on Tuesday also means I can fully digest the performances from Monday Night Football even if I didn't bother to watch the game. (I was listening to the second half on the radio.) For a couple Patriots, they're lucky Freaks of the Week cover the entire week. Now, may I have the envelope please? Here are the Week 9 Freaks of the Week.

Going into Monday night, the QB Freak looked to be firmly in the grasp of New York. That fine city's baseball team may have lost to a team with 1/3 the payroll, but they could have taken solace with a Week 9 Freak. In the battle for Gotham, the NY Giants' Kerry Collins threw for 303 yards and two touchdowns. Coming off a pre-season injury, the NY Jets' Chad Pennington countered with 281 yards, four touchdowns, but two interceptions. Collins could almost taste his second Freak. It would have made a fine main course to go along with his team's 31-28 overtime win. But every game counts here at Freak HQ. Low and behold New England's Tom Brady threw for 350 yards, three touchdowns, and one interception against Denver to snatch the QB Freak from Collins.

The race for the Running Back Freak added to the long, bitter rivalry between the Chicago Bears and the Green Bay Packers. During the day, the Bears' Anthony Thomas ran for 111 yards and two touchdowns against San Diego. On a day where big games by running backs were scarce (Carolina's Stephen Davis rushed for 153 yards, but didn't find the end zone) two touchdowns could do it. There was just one problem: Ahman Green still had to play Sunday night. Green didn't top Thomas in touchdowns, but he was the better back. He outrushed Thomas 137 yards to 111 yards. He also caught five passes for 52 yards, one being a touchdown. Green's 189 total yards and one touchdown edges Thomas' 111 total yards and two touchdowns. This was almost as close as the 1989 "instant replay" touchdown. Green adds his fourth Freak to his impressive fantasy year.

Like the battle for QB Freak, the wide receiver contest centered in Giants Stadium. When two opposing quarterbacks throw for 584 yards and six touchdowns you are sure to find great receiving performances. The Giants' Amani Toomer caught six balls for 127 yards and two touchdowns. But the Jets' Santana "I'm shorter and not as feared as Randy" Moss caught 10 passes for 121 yards and three touchdowns. Sure, Toomer made more big yardage plays, but he didn't smell the end zone as well as Moss. Moss joins teammate Anthony Becht as Jets Freak winners.

At the tight end spot there were some good yardage days. The Giants' Jeremy Shockey caught eight passes for 86 yards but didn't score any touchdowns. Miami's Randy McMichael had 88 yards on six catches. The Ravens' Todd Heap only caught two balls for 53 yards, but one of them was a touchdown. None of these guys got this week's Freak. The winner in this category goes to the Houston Texans' Billy Miller who caught four passes for 58 yards and one touchdown.

Last week the Tampa Bay Buccaneers' 16-0 stomping of Dallas earned the defense its first Freak. This week, the Bucs had to witness a Freak-winning performance by the New Orleans Saints. The Saints' D allowed 14 points, sacked the quarterback four times, and recovered four fumbles. They also picked off Brad Johnson twice, returning one for a touchdown. It's been said you get what you give, and Tampa Bay certainly got a defensive thrashing.

Even though there is never any deep discussion in fantasy land about kickers, this week's Freak could be provocative. The two candidates for kicking Freak are the Patriots' Adam Vinateri and the Packers' Ryan Longwell. Both kicked three field goals and three extra points for 12 total points. Who gets the Freak? Do I put on my green-and-gold colored glasses and declare Longwell the winner? I'd love to give some love to one of the most reliable kickers in fantasy football, but my readers deserve better. (What they really deserve is TMQ on SportBlog.org, but that's not going to happen.) Vinateri gets the Freak because two of his field goals were over 40 yards. Is Longwell being punished because his team's offense could get the ball closer to the end zone? Yes, and like the rest of life, it isn't fair. Too bad.

Brady, Green, Moss, Miller, the New Orleans defense, and Vinateri demonstrated the athletic prowess deserving of a Freak. Such a prestigious honor may not earn you a Chunky Soup endorsement (yet!), but it is truly one of a kind. I urge each of you to tell your trainer what you've won. Then tell him to tell three of his friends so they tell three of their friends. It's called viral marketing. Do this to let the world realize you are a Freak of the Week.