TMF: Tuesday Morning Freaks

Tuesday Morning Quarterback has returned from its ESPN-induced exile. That means Freaks of the Week has competition again. I'm not as witty or smart as Gregg Easterbrook, nor will I give you any cheesecake (wait, I just did). But if you care about fantasy football then please make this little column one of your weekly habits.

There were so many Freak running back candidates this week. Jacksonville's Fred Taylor ran for 153 yards and two touchdowns against Indianapolis. Warrick Dunn may be small, but he was nifty enough to rush for 178 yards and one touchdown in the Falcons' win over the Giants. Rudi Johnson gave the Bengals no reason to worry about the status of Corey Dillon. "Rudi! Rudi! Rudi!" ran for 182 yards and two touchdowns against the Texans. Minnesota's Moe Williams, the heart of that struggling team, didn't rush much, but caught 11 passed for 130 yards and two touchdowns. Those are numbers than Randy Moss. If Ahman Green would have dumped the Batman-black elbow pads sooner in the Packers' rain-soaked loss, he might have hung onto the ball better and earned his second-straight and league-leading fifth Freak. Lots of great performances means many players will be slighted. Not every one can win a Freak. Like the Highlander, there can only be one, and that one this week is San Diego's LaDainian Tomlinson. He started off early against the Minnesota Vikings by ripping off a 73-yard touchdown run in the first quarter. Tomlinson ended up with 161 yards rushing, 46 yards receiving on 6 catches, two rushing touchdowns, and ZERO fumbles. (Make a note of that Mr. Green.)

Pittsburgh's Hines Ward always seems to catch two touchdowns every week, but he's never won a Freak. Cris Carter calls Ward the "toughest" wide out in the league. Every week, some receiver has a better statistical week. Ward caught six balls for 68 yards and gets snubbed again. As a fantasy owner, I want a guy like Ward on my team. He's consistently productive. I don't have to worry about juggling a line-up or pouring over matchups with guys like Ward. He's steady, and productive, and will make any fantasy team a winner.

So who gets the wide receiver Freak? The Redskins' Rod Gardner gets the nod. He caught 8 balls for 81 yards and one touchdown. Those numbers aren't Freaky. What sinched it was his ten-yard touchdown pass. Even if (depending on your league's scoring) Ward topped Gardner's fantasy numbers I have to give the Freak to a wide out who threw as good a spiral as he did.

Like the traffic jam for running back Freak, in the battle for QB Freak there plenty of choices. Payton Manning threw for over 300 yards again, tossed two touchdowns, but had two interceptions. Jeff Blake threw for 307 yards and two touchdowns while also rushing for 32 yards. Trent Green continued Kansas City's blitzkrieg ways by racking up 368 yards passing with three touchdowns. Minnesota's Dante Culpepper topped all quarterbacks with 370 yards passing and four touchdowns. But this week's QB Freak goes to Dante's opposite, the little general, 41-year-old Doug Flutie. His numbers were solid: 248 yard passing, two touchdown passes, and no interception. I can hear the complaining already. "Those aren't Freak numbers!" I know, but Flutie also ran for two touchdowns; one coming off his own fumble. That's a performance that has a fantasy owner jumping for joy. A couple of touchdowns and no interceptions is just peachy from a quarterback, but to have him rush for two TDs is like a dozen Krispy Kremes hot out of the fryer.

With the Kansas City Chiefs doing so well on offence you would have thought tight end Tony Gonzalez would have gotten a Freak by now. Well, it may have taken ten weeks, but he finally earned it. With seven catches for 70 yards and a touchdown, Gonzalez beat out Indianapolis' Marcus Pollard's 3 catches for 92 yards and one touchdown day.

I hate the Dallas Cowboys and refuse to call them "America's Team" (that's reserved for a team close to its roots in Northeast Wisconsin). But after their great job in shutting down the Buffalo Bills, I really want to give the defense their second Freak. Buffalo's Drew Bledsoe only had 104 yards passing, and the Bills only had 189 total net yards. The Cowboys' defense allowed only six points, sacked the QB three times, and had two fumble recoveries. That's pretty good. Wait, no, that's great! But it's not enough for a Freak. The Tennessee Titans' defense dominated the Miami Dolphins' offense. They only gave up seven points, sacked the QB four times, picked off three passes, recovered two fumbles, and had a defensive touchdown. Men in blue, better luck next week. Other men in blue, you got yourselves a Freak.

Here's a helpful hint when picking a kicker for your team: look for those who kick indoors. They don't have to fight the elements leads to better chances at longer (and more valuable) kicks. This week's kicking Freak goes to St. Louis' Jeff Wilkins. He booted four field goals (longest for 49 yards) and three extra points for 15 total points. The runner-up is Detroit's Jeff Hanson who also kicked four field goals (longest for 48 yards) for 12 total points. Both kickers kicked indoors.

Tomlinson, Gardner, Flutie, Gonzalez, the Cowboys Defense, and Wilkins, you showed the league that you are "simply the best." Just print out this page, take it to Kinkos, and give all your friends a copy so they will forever know that you were Freaks of the Week!