Freaks of the Week Week 5

This week's Freaks of the Week have some California recall flavor. Football and politics go together like Rush Limbaugh and ESPN Sunday NFL Countdown. Nevertheless, football is full of characters and so is the endless ballot Californians used on Tuesday. Now, let's rock the vote!

Unlike the California recall the quest for top Freak running back came down to two candidates, Green Bay's Ahman Green and Denver's Clinton Portis, who happened to be the first ever Freak at his position. The first exit polls leaned toward Portis with his 141 yards rushing, 79 yards receiving, and 1 TD. But there was one glaring number: Portis didn't grope the ball well enough and had two fumbles. Green pleased this electorate of one by rushing for 118 yards, scoring 2 TDs, and not losing the football. Unlike Gray Davis, Green doesn't get kicked out and has his second Freak in a row.

Let's stay with the incumbant angle. Last week, Indianapolis' Payton Manning could do no wrong by throwing 6 TDs against the Saints. Monday night, he led his team to a historic comeback against one of the best defenses in NFL history. He threw for 386 yards, had 2 TDs, and 1 interception against Tampa Bay. On a crowded ballot filled with fine performaces by Steve McNair (391 yards passing, 2 rushing TDs), Brad Johnson (318 yards passing, 3 TDs, 1 interception), Drew Brees (296 yards passing, 3 TDs, 0 interceptions), and rookie Byron Leftwich (336 yards passing, 2 TDs, 0 interceptions, 2 fumbles) my hanging chad goes to Manning for taming Buccaneer defense. Along with Green, Manning retains his Freak status.

Another close race was for Freak wide receiver. San Diego's David "Mr. Apology" Boston and Indianapolis' Marvin Harrison had similar numbers. Boston had 14 catches for 181 yards and 2 TDs. Harrison caught 11 balls for 176 yards and 2 TDs. The deciding factor comes down to that glaring fumble Boston had. To be a Freak you must treat the football like Bill Clinton treated interns, never let them go. Harrison gets his first Freak.

Now, we go to the landslide victories. Jeremy Shockey says things in the media that would make political handlers cringe. Thank goodness for Giants fans he catches footballs instead of running for office. Sunday, he caught 11 passes for 110 yards.

Maybe after his football career is over Oakland Raiders' kicker Sebastian Janikowski could run for California governor just like Arnold Schwarzenegger. They're both European immigrants who are taking full advantage of America as the Land of Opportunity. They both also have speckled pasts. But for now Janikowski should stick with kicking. He make 5 field goals to be a Freak of the Week.

The week's best defensive performance was brought in by Dallas. Bill Parcells has them playing better than anyone (probably including himself) thought possible. Dallas played Hardball only allowed 7 points against Arizona. They racked up 3 sacks, 2 interceptions, and 2 safeties.

Green, Manning, Harrison, Shockey, Janikowski, and the Dallas defense had what it took to win this week's most important election. All these guys are Freaks of the Week, and I promise there will be no recalls.