Last night, the Archangel Michael came to me in a dream to deliver a message.

ArchangelMichael: Listen, I know you’re confused about what happened tonight. I want to let you know that it was not God’s doing, but a plot of the Devil.
Yeti: Lucifer is a Colts fan? Makes sense. There’s that passage that leads to the Gates of Hell in the middle of Indianapolis.
AM: It’s very convenient for him to attend home games, and the RCA dome lets him leave his winter coat in Hades.
Y: And there’s that whole Indiana being the source of all evil thing.
AM: Wait a minute, how did you hear about that?
Y: I lived with a girl from Indiana. Doesn’t take long to figure out that the whole state has some serious problems with evildoers. Indianapolis in the center, and in the center of Indianapolis is that concrete monument with the horse. I figured it had to be the Gateway to Hell.
AM: Funny story about that. Lucifer got public funding to build it.
Y: So Lucifer put a curse on the Buccaneers?

AM: Not exactly. See, every year a bunch of us, including Lucifer and the Big Guy test out the new football games that come out.
Y: God was a Buccaneers fan last year?
AM: No, He always plays the Saints – but he has problems figuring out the new controller. Elijah won the pool last year. Well, Lucifer always picks the Colts, and he is still furious at losing to Paul last year in the Playoffs.
Y: So is Elijah playing us this year?
AM: Well, Paul picked the Bucs instead of the Jets this year, because the new contracts say only New Testament players get to play the NFC teams. So he’s playing Lucifer, and it looked like a repeat of the last time they played. Paul put up all those points so we all stopped watching and checked out the Red Soc game. Paul went to bed early and let Lucifer finish the game against the computer.
Y: What happened?
AM: Well, he switched the difficulty level from “Divine, God-inspired Play” to “Rookie,” and started making all those deep throws for touchdowns. Then he’d switch it back when the Bucs were on offense.
Y: So he cheated? Are you going to change that?
AM: By the time we noticed, he had already won and saved the game. We can’t change it now without starting the whole season over.
Y: So you’re going to let the Bucs win now?
AM: I can’t do that – I have the Steelers and don’t need the competition.
Y: This seems terribly unfair. Does this mean the Colts are going to start losing?
AM: Normally we’d kick him out of the league – but that’s not really fair to Peyton Manning. The Big Guy really likes his DirecTV commercials, so he just shrugged his shoulders and said Paul should have known better.
Y: I guess there’s nothing to do about it now. I would think you guys would have done something ahead of time.
AM: Jesus was supposed to be the commissioner of the league this year, but the Devil started talking about giving him the whole league if he would switch religious sides, and Jesus decided he didn’t want to listen to the temptations of Satan all season. Now we have David running things, and he’s always busy writing Psalms.
Y: Well, thanks for letting me know anyway. I appreciate the heads up.
AM: No problem. I was up reading prayers on-line and needed a break.
Y: See you around, Michael.